Gather your friends and your drinks, the time has arrived to drown yourself into a cavalcade of europop, eurotrash, ethnic music and everything in between whilst getting shit-on-your-ass drunk: it’s Eurovision time. The rules are simple, whenever anything on the list happens: you take one sip of whatever you’re having, unless the rule specifies otherwise. Have fun and responsibility and shit.
Drink once when:
- Fireworks appear on stage in any shape or form
- You think the visuals are more interesting than the song
- A song has a rap section for some reason
- A song looks like a song from last year, but shit
- There’s a belt the singer just completely fails.
- There’s a belt the singer just completely nails.
Drink twice when:
- You agree with whatever commenter you’re listening to. (Thrice when in agreement with Jan Smit. – Fuck that guy and the fact he makes agreeable points).
- Someone thanks Europe, Israel or tells the world they need to love themselves or some other vapid, sentimental bullshit.
- The presenters appear to have the range of cardboard cut-out.
- If you think one of the singers on stage is hot, not taking into account your sexual preference.
- If the green room section-interviews run as smoothly as a hammer rolling down a road.
- The person who’s giving out points is about as well prepared as Poland was for World War II.
- The production value of a song way overshadows the annual GDP of the country performing said song.
Drink thrice when:
- There’s an English bit in an otherwise non-English song.
- There’s a non-English bit in an otherwise English song.
- You have no idea what’s going on.
- There’s partial nudity on stage.
- Glitter, leather, feather or Christmas sweater.
- Any form of malfunction, be it human of technical
- You’re feeling somewhat conflicted about the Israel-Palestine situation.
- You’ve got no idea who the ‘’celebrity’’ on stage currently is.
Down your drink when:
- Maddona appears on stage. You’s gonna need it.
I TOO HAVE A FAVOURITE-GAME
- Drink once if your favourite gets ten points
- Drink twice if your favourite gets eleven points
- Drink thrice if your favourite gets DOUZE POINTS
- Pour yourself a new drink and down it when your favourite wins.
- Pour yourself a new drink and down it when your home country wins