Eurovision 2019 drinking game

Gather your friends and your drinks, the time has arrived to drown yourself into a cavalcade of europop, eurotrash, ethnic music and everything in between whilst getting shit-on-your-ass drunk: it’s Eurovision time. The rules are simple, whenever anything on the list happens: you take one sip of whatever you’re having, unless the rule specifies otherwise. Have fun and responsibility and shit.

Drink once when:

• Fireworks appear on stage in any shape or form
• You think the visuals are more interesting than the song
• A song has a rap section for some reason
• A song looks like a song from last year, but shit
• There’s a belt the singer just completely fails.
• There’s a belt the singer just completely nails.

Drink twice when:

• You agree with whatever commenter you’re listening to. (Thrice when in agreement with Jan Smit. –  Fuck that guy and the fact he makes agreeable points).
• Someone thanks Europe, Israel or tells the world they need to love themselves or some other vapid, sentimental bullshit.
• The presenters appear to have the range of cardboard cut-out.
• If you think one of the singers on stage is hot, not taking into account your sexual preference.
• If the green room section-interviews run as smoothly as a hammer rolling down a road.
• The person who’s giving out points is about as well prepared as Poland was for World War II.
• The production value of a song way overshadows the annual GDP of the country performing said song.

Drink thrice when:

• There’s an English bit in an otherwise non-English song.
• There’s a non-English bit in an otherwise English song.
• You have no idea what’s going on.
• There’s partial nudity on stage.
• Glitter, leather, feather or Christmas sweater.
• Any form of malfunction, be it human of technical
• You’re feeling somewhat conflicted about the Israel-Palestine situation.
• You’ve got no idea who the ‘’celebrity’’ on stage currently is.

Down your drink when:

• Maddona appears on stage. You’s gonna need it.
  

I TOO HAVE A FAVOURITE-GAME

• Drink once if your favourite gets ten points
• Drink twice if your favourite gets eleven points
• Drink thrice if your favourite gets DOUZE POINTS
• Pour yourself a new drink and down it when your favourite wins.
• Pour yourself a new drink and down it when your home country wins