My name is David Jan, your future favorite columnist on this platform. As a collegial sage, I will brighten up each Hump Day (for the special ones under us, it’s Wednesday) with a, hopefully, sharp column on actuality. At least, that was the plan. Nowadays we live in times of corona, and we need to adapt our student life to the new circumstances. Therefore I will take you along on my quest for the ultimate six-foot student life.