Eurovision 2019 drinking game

Gather your friends and your drinks, the time has arrived to drown yourself into a cavalcade of europop, eurotrash, ethnic music and everything in between whilst getting shit-on-your-ass drunk: it’s Eurovision time. The rules are simple, whenever anything on the list happens: you take one sip of whatever you’re having, unless the rule specifies otherwise. Have fun and responsibility and shit.

Drink once when:

  • Fireworks appear on stage in any shape or form
  • You think the visuals are more interesting than the song
  • A song has a rap section for some reason
  • A song looks like a song from last year, but shit
  • There’s a belt the singer just completely fails.
  • There’s a belt the singer just completely nails.

Drink twice when:

  • You agree with whatever commenter you’re listening to. (Thrice when in agreement with Jan Smit. –  Fuck that guy and the fact he makes agreeable points).
  • Someone thanks Europe, Israel or tells the world they need to love themselves or some other vapid, sentimental bullshit.
  • The presenters appear to have the range of cardboard cut-out.
  • If you think one of the singers on stage is hot, not taking into account your sexual preference.
  • If the green room section-interviews run as smoothly as a hammer rolling down a road.
  • The person who’s giving out points is about as well prepared as Poland was for World War II.
  • The production value of a song way overshadows the annual GDP of the country performing said song.

Drink thrice when:

  • There’s an English bit in an otherwise non-English song.
  • There’s a non-English bit in an otherwise English song.
  • You have no idea what’s going on.
  • There’s partial nudity on stage.
  • Glitter, leather, feather or Christmas sweater.
  • Any form of malfunction, be it human of technical
  • You’re feeling somewhat conflicted about the Israel-Palestine situation.
  • You’ve got no idea who the ‘’celebrity’’ on stage currently is.

Down your drink when:

  • Maddona appears on stage. You’s gonna need it.

I TOO HAVE A FAVOURITE-GAME

  • Drink once if your favourite gets ten points
  • Drink twice if your favourite gets eleven points
  • Drink thrice if your favourite gets DOUZE POINTS
  • Pour yourself a new drink and down it when your favourite wins.
  • Pour yourself a new drink and down it when your home country wins
Richard Nobbe

Richard Nobbe

Absolute Senior of the Studentenkrant and above-board, professional nerd. Trying to get the people hooked on poetry for years, in between writing shamelessly left columns and harsh reviews on film or tv. If ‘he doesn’t get angry reactions, he did something wrong’.