Bird is not the word anymore

Johnny Walnuts

Tussen alle studie- en scriptiestress door is soggen af en toe gewoon heel hard nodig. De eerste stap is dan steevast Facebook checken, waar al drie uur lang dezelfde berichten staan omdat iedereen alleen maar in de boeken zit. Waar zijn de goede verhalen als je er eentje nodig hebt? Iig niet onder je Groningse vrienden, aangezien niemand meer de kroeg in duikt omdat ze nog moeten ‘studeren’. Gelukkig verzamelt Lamebook nog altijd alle hoogtepunten en daarom voor uw gerief een gouwe ouwe.

SO i just hoppedin the shower. it got really stuffy so i opened the bathroom window. i continue my shower as normal untill a FUCKING BRID flew in my window and started flying arond the bathroom knocking shit over on the counter and ramming into the mirror. Out of shock, i stepped back and slipped on a bottle of shampoo and smacked face first into the warm bathtub floor. While i regained consciousness the bird continued to ruin the bathroom and run into the mirror. at this point we are now 30 seconds into the ordeal so its starting to hurt itself. The birde gives up and lands on the counter obviously bewildered, so i get out of the shower ass naked and walk over to the counter. It stares at me and i stare back at it. I tell the bird that there is no fucking way im touching him so he should fly out the still open window. He clearly does not understand so i am left with no choice. I Grab the bird in my towel and carry it outside. STILL naked. I make it outside and decide that i need to walk the bird at LEAST a few feet from my door so it doesnt fly back inside. AS i step out there, my ALWAYS ABSENT neighbors choose a wonderful time to pull into their driveway which is overlooking mine. So here i am, Naked, with a towel IN my hands and not around me, in my driveway at this point. I release the towel so the bird can escape and the neighbors can finally understand what happened. As i release the towel the bird falls lifeless to the floor. God Damnit.

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